Darl. you told me that you are going to climb hill and view the sunrise.... and you didn't tell me prior time because you forgot.... I really hate it when you suddenly go out for trip like that you know?..
Not hate in bad way... just... ask me permission please.. make me feel that I'm in that trip as well... So that I can feel like you tagged me along in a way. Haih. I know you didn't know any about this, but I'll definitely tell you soon. I just felt if you just do that, I won't like any picture that you are going to gimmie. That's just who I am. I just.... want in a way tag me along with you. You just told me the day before going whereas you planned it for a week already. This time I really feel very detached from your trip. I guess... Don't expect me to be very happy about this matter.
I actually thought I were the type to ask permission just to make me feel in part with you....
I'm not that type to randomly inviting myself.
I know that I ish very cham person... but... haih
I know you feel like... why should you even do that? Asking permission and stuff? Why can't I just feel like always invited by you?
I'm not that simple darl.... Sorry. Guys are actually complicated, but we don't make matter bizarre.
By doing so... I can really feel that journey with you.
Love you.
Monday 11 April 2016
11th April 2016
Hello darl. Well.. Shocking news that you scored zero for you midterm... I studied very hard and I knew it that. I hate the teacher for giving you minor topics :( But I guess the lecturers decide students' fate...
I know darl going to be very busy studying for finals. Sokay, I got the reasons so I'll just let it be if we couldn't chat alot. I'm happy that everyone even your lecturer still supports you. Like how everyone believe you can do your finals well. I believe in you too, I 100% believe in you that you can pass the exam with good mark :) I'll try not to be a burden and treat you nicely.
Sometimes, eventhough you are stressed, please don't reply me coldly. I know I did that to you before, but not that I notice I have been like that I'll try to be better. So darl, just give me little motivational words and I'll be fine. If you reply me coldly in the morning, you'll kill my day. Just say nice things with hearts, I'll be extremely happy already.
Well.. You have been clingy with me for awhile now and I truly enjoy those moments. But I guess that will have to be put aside for now until your exam.... Promise that you'll be like this again after finals, then I'll feel in peace. Sometimes I do fear the moment where you... didn't get very clingy on me until you really lost feelings.... These days you really like full of feel on me, which I'm extremely happy about. So... Please don't lose it yea?
I support you in anyway.
Love, The Darl.
I know darl going to be very busy studying for finals. Sokay, I got the reasons so I'll just let it be if we couldn't chat alot. I'm happy that everyone even your lecturer still supports you. Like how everyone believe you can do your finals well. I believe in you too, I 100% believe in you that you can pass the exam with good mark :) I'll try not to be a burden and treat you nicely.
Sometimes, eventhough you are stressed, please don't reply me coldly. I know I did that to you before, but not that I notice I have been like that I'll try to be better. So darl, just give me little motivational words and I'll be fine. If you reply me coldly in the morning, you'll kill my day. Just say nice things with hearts, I'll be extremely happy already.
Well.. You have been clingy with me for awhile now and I truly enjoy those moments. But I guess that will have to be put aside for now until your exam.... Promise that you'll be like this again after finals, then I'll feel in peace. Sometimes I do fear the moment where you... didn't get very clingy on me until you really lost feelings.... These days you really like full of feel on me, which I'm extremely happy about. So... Please don't lose it yea?
I support you in anyway.
Love, The Darl.
Sunday 3 April 2016
2nd April 2016
Hello my love!!! Happy 1 year 4 month anniversary~~ Hehe.
It's not been 4 months since we last physically contact each other. It is on the 10th of December that it was the last time we physically hold each other.... 8 more days then XD Basically it's 3 months 22 days? I feel like dying already right now... Dying to have you next to me right now. Really miss you right now. You know like how I said every anniversary we have to discuss about what we don't like about one another and fix it? So.... I'll try to go along with problems I have and... hopefully you tell me about mine also? And most important.... we can do something about it instead of just getting sien of it and push it aside for another time. Hahahaha.
We have come quite a long way, but there's still a long journey ahead of us that we have to face before meeting again. But I'm sure if both of us stay strong, we can go through it. I don't like to say that I'm strong at all. Look at me. So mentally damaged already... I'm still level 1 in living here, whereas darl is level 25 in Kajang. Sometimes I wonder how can I improve myself from not being so clingy on you. It's hard to control myself. I'm that type to either care about someone, or not. It's hard for me to be in between or 75% care and 25% not. I have been like this for many ages, changing it would take more than myself to do. It's even harder for me to not be very clingy on you. I love you a lot, that's my only reason. But that one reason is more than enough for me to give my ultimate care. Of course... you don't really need my care as much as I do. Looky you, so independent. Me le? Need you all the time, if not I become sads and no motivation. Remember the saying that 'Guys get motivated when they feel needed'? That is very true you know? Remember that day when you were so sweet in skype? I felt so motivated the whole day. Why can't you be like that every time we skype??? Huhuhu. Sometimes you were very cold you know? :( I don't likey when you are cold with me... It's really demotivating my day... Darl expects me to be happy here, but if there is no good motivation in the morning, how? Darl told me that some days you'll be cold and some days sweet. That makes me wonder. Why not sweet everyday so I can be very happy everyday? I find it very funny when darl told me that. Because my type of person is like... if I know there's a way to make you happy, I'll do my best in it. I'm not going to wait for the day I my mood sweet sweet baru I be sweet with you. I'll try to remove all my no moods and replace them to sweet sweet if that can make darl happy. I always want to be happy everytime I skype you so you can sleep well. Hehe. But of course there are days when we are quite 'bend' so it wasn't really a pleasant skype. So darl, just a request from me, can you be more sweet with me? Please control your 'cold' sometimes yea(especially in my morning XD )? I'm much more fragile here than in back in Kuching, so any cold replies actually can ruin my day. Please think about texting me something sweet yea? If it is not necessary to be cold... please don't. Some times I just want to show you that I care, but you replied my coldly. I don't know if I ever coldly texted you these past months without a cause.... but if I do, you should tell me. DON'T let me be the guy you don't likey. Sometimes I wonder, is it because I don't get enough attention in the morning that's why the whole day I always miss you badly and became very clingy? Let's try be sweet sweet most of the time? See if it can help. Hehe. So, all in all, please be sweet for my morning? Be clingy with me, show me that you need me, it will really fuel up my day. :) (Hopefully you won't take this as a childish request... I really mean it *Kisu* )
Hmm... by the Valentine letter reached you in 2 months... So basically this letter should reach you around 6th months anniversary. Yayyyy 1.5 years anniversary XD But that still mean we just go through 1/8 of 4 years T___T HUHUHU But who cares, I'm just going to imagine that moment when we reunited. Will be lovely. Hehe. I wonder what we gonna do ho? I hold hand sure high and....yeah... already XD So please take it slow or I die inside.
Last night we watched Gravity Falls if you remember. The last special episode and final episode. I rate it 10/10 :) Actually that part where Uncle Stan was shot with the memory gun to eliminate Bill, I was kind of expecting that Uncles Stan would lost his memory permanently. It would mean sadder ending, but I thought it would be better that the writer would put some hints on the ending that Uncle Stan actually remembers a few things, which would makes us the watcher to decide whether or not he actually completely lost his memories. I mean, I still accept that ending, maybe the original ending is still better for you la. Haha. I really love to see how Uncle Stan and his brother in the end goes adventure together like what they dream of when they were still kids. Feels to 100% when it reaches the ending. One ticket to Feeladelphia please. If darl got any cartoon or shows that is both funny and feel like that, please share me? We watch together :)
You know.... Last night we supposed to... do that after watching? But you had to sleep cause need to print and pass up uni work... also cause your sister is there... :( I actually feel quite sad cause our plan didn't go finish. I ish the type to always want to follow the schedule, so was kindda weird that we didn't do what was planned. Honestly... I was also.... maybe..... sexually frustrated? XD If a guy had a plan to do something sexy with their love one, and if it doesn't go well, the guys can get very sexually frustrated. Haha. I don't know for girls la.... But for guys yes. Ehe. Wasn't anyone's fault last night, so I kind of let it go. I hope we do it soon ;) I love to see you.... do that... Ehe..
I really really really miss miss miss you right now me love..... Like... very miss. I wonder if there's a word that is can express my miss level towards you. I misser you? XD hahahahaha. Darl, to think about it, I'm not doubting la, but I wonder if there is a time when I say 'I miss you' to you but.... you either ignore it or it just goes in you head and doesn't react to it anymore? I say that cause I feel like.... I scare that I kept on saying it to you until you feel like it means nothing already. I can't really remember the name of that effect when you keep on repeating the same word or sentence in your head until that word/sentence just doesn't make any sense to you anymore. I fear of that you know? When I say that I miss you, I always mean it. How could I lie from the situation I have right now? I really miss you all the time, until I see you again hehe.
By the time darl receives this letter.... Darl already back to uni from vacation week. I hope darl will enjoy the weeks of vacation in Kuching. Darl told me darl gonna go puri/permai/damai with friends? Darl must replay all those memories of me there when we were together ok? MUST! Ehe. Darl, to think about it.... This morning you told me you planned going to Perak or Kedah with your sis, Kent, Jia Ying and someone else? I was... shocked when you told me straight that you are going to places. Plus it was planned like... a week ago and I just know now? :( That reminds me of some occasions that you plan to go with friends outside town, but you told me only when I asked what you were texting with your friends. First thing first, don't get the wrong yea? It's not about you going out....It's more a like... I just... Or always... Expects darl to kind of ask me permission first? I definitely let you out one, it's just.... I don't really like when darl just go adventure without asking me permission... I somehow felt very left out in a way. I mean I'm already left out in terms of not physically following.... It's just I always imagine people in relationship always ask each other permission to go out somewhere special, basically it's something that couples always do? If it is something to do with work or a compulsory uni trip or going back Kuching, I don't mind if you go without asking me. But just... when with friends?... I really prefer darl to ask me permission. It really will make me feel happy with that one question you know? I asked myself why? Why do I need you to ask me permission before you go? Maybe since I can't follow you adventure physically, in a way asking for my permission is equivalent to you inviting me in to your adventure mentally? I honestly feel like, even though you are going to take pictures for me, I might feel sad instead of happy when looking at the pictures. I suppose to be happy to see you adventure, but I sad cause I felt very left out. Can we try that darl? I really want to be the guy that smiles when he sees his lover having fun adventuring. Maybe from there I won't feel very sads and jelly whenever you go out adventuring with your friends. Also, if you ask for my permission, at least... I feel like you do care about how I feel having you in that trip. I don't really know the word to describe that feels.It's just that feels when you care about my feelings in some things. Not only talking about vacation with friends, but others as well... Maybe any outdoor events? I won't say no to whatever you want to attend, unless it requires you to do something obscene or any thing is inappropriate, which I know you won't join. You can ask me in a way like 'Can I go?' or 'Should I go?.' But usually when you asked me 'Should I go', mostly the final decision is whatever the opposite of what I suggest :| So.... I'll stick to 'Can I go?'. Just a question can make me happy me love. Remember that I have learnt to think about how you would feel in the decisions I make? So... don't worry about my answer, I always support the darl. I guess, another request if that's fine? Ask for my permission in trips or outdoor events please? So I can really feel both love and adventure connection between us :)
What a long letter... There are some thing that are still 'bend' from us. For example when you told me that you feel kindda 'don't care' about my problem here? I feel... very... not sad, but sick when I heard you said that. It's really depressing.... I mean... It's like you gave up hope in me. No matter what problems we have.. I won't give up or ignore. I hate that attitude when I start to ignore our problems, thinking that it is a dead end. If there is nothing can be done... I guess it's just left with patience, instead of ignoring or giving it up. I know you have been patient for awhile already. Haih. I'm quite serious about this matter cause this problem can slowly damage our relationship over time.... Right now I just train myself to be more.... calm and positive? Whenever I'm in tight condition, I remember that the lord always push our limits in order for us to learn something or to be even better in it. From there, I can feel better for myself and slowly I can see myself improve. So darl... sorry to make you feel sads because of me some times. Just.... please don't give up hope on me.. I'll try my best even more. I'll push my limits.
Right now darl ish resting. Darl playing ipad and left our whatsapp conversation. I said that I miss you alotttttttttttt.... sooooooo whyyy darlll stilll wannttt tooo leaveee emeeeeee HUHUHUHU. It's a sign that I need you rightt nowwww..... But I guess since you want to study and also you no mood from the haircut that you had.... I guess you do need some time alone for now. Please cheer up okay? It's not that bad. Still love you lots.
Darl. I have been writing for hours now. Imma gonna end this letter. So.... Love you lots :) Happy 4th months anniversary. Yayyyyyyyyy celebrationnnnnn :))))))) Loveeee darl alott. Very ish in love with the darl. Please don't get mad at me for asking many requests... :( It's just how I think can help me feel better, which in the end you'll definitely get less stressful times with me. I really wanna do stuff to the darl badly. Still sexually frustrated cause we didn't get to do it last night.... I actually keep on telling you that I wanna see you is because... I want to do that...the thing we supposed to do last night... But see you no mood and stuff.... Maybe I'll just go watch some vids and do it myself tomorrow.. Or now? Hehehe. Kisu. Love love. See you soon my love~
The Darl Signs here to give love. (´ ,,•ω•,,)っ⌒♡ (´,,•ω•,,)♡The Darl signs here to receive love.
____________________________________ ___________________________________
This letter can be turned into a one time contract of the darl can do anything to the darl for one day if the above is signed by both the darl only.
It's not been 4 months since we last physically contact each other. It is on the 10th of December that it was the last time we physically hold each other.... 8 more days then XD Basically it's 3 months 22 days? I feel like dying already right now... Dying to have you next to me right now. Really miss you right now. You know like how I said every anniversary we have to discuss about what we don't like about one another and fix it? So.... I'll try to go along with problems I have and... hopefully you tell me about mine also? And most important.... we can do something about it instead of just getting sien of it and push it aside for another time. Hahahaha.
We have come quite a long way, but there's still a long journey ahead of us that we have to face before meeting again. But I'm sure if both of us stay strong, we can go through it. I don't like to say that I'm strong at all. Look at me. So mentally damaged already... I'm still level 1 in living here, whereas darl is level 25 in Kajang. Sometimes I wonder how can I improve myself from not being so clingy on you. It's hard to control myself. I'm that type to either care about someone, or not. It's hard for me to be in between or 75% care and 25% not. I have been like this for many ages, changing it would take more than myself to do. It's even harder for me to not be very clingy on you. I love you a lot, that's my only reason. But that one reason is more than enough for me to give my ultimate care. Of course... you don't really need my care as much as I do. Looky you, so independent. Me le? Need you all the time, if not I become sads and no motivation. Remember the saying that 'Guys get motivated when they feel needed'? That is very true you know? Remember that day when you were so sweet in skype? I felt so motivated the whole day. Why can't you be like that every time we skype??? Huhuhu. Sometimes you were very cold you know? :( I don't likey when you are cold with me... It's really demotivating my day... Darl expects me to be happy here, but if there is no good motivation in the morning, how? Darl told me that some days you'll be cold and some days sweet. That makes me wonder. Why not sweet everyday so I can be very happy everyday? I find it very funny when darl told me that. Because my type of person is like... if I know there's a way to make you happy, I'll do my best in it. I'm not going to wait for the day I my mood sweet sweet baru I be sweet with you. I'll try to remove all my no moods and replace them to sweet sweet if that can make darl happy. I always want to be happy everytime I skype you so you can sleep well. Hehe. But of course there are days when we are quite 'bend' so it wasn't really a pleasant skype. So darl, just a request from me, can you be more sweet with me? Please control your 'cold' sometimes yea(especially in my morning XD )? I'm much more fragile here than in back in Kuching, so any cold replies actually can ruin my day. Please think about texting me something sweet yea? If it is not necessary to be cold... please don't. Some times I just want to show you that I care, but you replied my coldly. I don't know if I ever coldly texted you these past months without a cause.... but if I do, you should tell me. DON'T let me be the guy you don't likey. Sometimes I wonder, is it because I don't get enough attention in the morning that's why the whole day I always miss you badly and became very clingy? Let's try be sweet sweet most of the time? See if it can help. Hehe. So, all in all, please be sweet for my morning? Be clingy with me, show me that you need me, it will really fuel up my day. :) (Hopefully you won't take this as a childish request... I really mean it *Kisu* )
Hmm... by the Valentine letter reached you in 2 months... So basically this letter should reach you around 6th months anniversary. Yayyyy 1.5 years anniversary XD But that still mean we just go through 1/8 of 4 years T___T HUHUHU But who cares, I'm just going to imagine that moment when we reunited. Will be lovely. Hehe. I wonder what we gonna do ho? I hold hand sure high and....yeah... already XD So please take it slow or I die inside.
Last night we watched Gravity Falls if you remember. The last special episode and final episode. I rate it 10/10 :) Actually that part where Uncle Stan was shot with the memory gun to eliminate Bill, I was kind of expecting that Uncles Stan would lost his memory permanently. It would mean sadder ending, but I thought it would be better that the writer would put some hints on the ending that Uncle Stan actually remembers a few things, which would makes us the watcher to decide whether or not he actually completely lost his memories. I mean, I still accept that ending, maybe the original ending is still better for you la. Haha. I really love to see how Uncle Stan and his brother in the end goes adventure together like what they dream of when they were still kids. Feels to 100% when it reaches the ending. One ticket to Feeladelphia please. If darl got any cartoon or shows that is both funny and feel like that, please share me? We watch together :)
You know.... Last night we supposed to... do that after watching? But you had to sleep cause need to print and pass up uni work... also cause your sister is there... :( I actually feel quite sad cause our plan didn't go finish. I ish the type to always want to follow the schedule, so was kindda weird that we didn't do what was planned. Honestly... I was also.... maybe..... sexually frustrated? XD If a guy had a plan to do something sexy with their love one, and if it doesn't go well, the guys can get very sexually frustrated. Haha. I don't know for girls la.... But for guys yes. Ehe. Wasn't anyone's fault last night, so I kind of let it go. I hope we do it soon ;) I love to see you.... do that... Ehe..
I really really really miss miss miss you right now me love..... Like... very miss. I wonder if there's a word that is can express my miss level towards you. I misser you? XD hahahahaha. Darl, to think about it, I'm not doubting la, but I wonder if there is a time when I say 'I miss you' to you but.... you either ignore it or it just goes in you head and doesn't react to it anymore? I say that cause I feel like.... I scare that I kept on saying it to you until you feel like it means nothing already. I can't really remember the name of that effect when you keep on repeating the same word or sentence in your head until that word/sentence just doesn't make any sense to you anymore. I fear of that you know? When I say that I miss you, I always mean it. How could I lie from the situation I have right now? I really miss you all the time, until I see you again hehe.
By the time darl receives this letter.... Darl already back to uni from vacation week. I hope darl will enjoy the weeks of vacation in Kuching. Darl told me darl gonna go puri/permai/damai with friends? Darl must replay all those memories of me there when we were together ok? MUST! Ehe. Darl, to think about it.... This morning you told me you planned going to Perak or Kedah with your sis, Kent, Jia Ying and someone else? I was... shocked when you told me straight that you are going to places. Plus it was planned like... a week ago and I just know now? :( That reminds me of some occasions that you plan to go with friends outside town, but you told me only when I asked what you were texting with your friends. First thing first, don't get the wrong yea? It's not about you going out....It's more a like... I just... Or always... Expects darl to kind of ask me permission first? I definitely let you out one, it's just.... I don't really like when darl just go adventure without asking me permission... I somehow felt very left out in a way. I mean I'm already left out in terms of not physically following.... It's just I always imagine people in relationship always ask each other permission to go out somewhere special, basically it's something that couples always do? If it is something to do with work or a compulsory uni trip or going back Kuching, I don't mind if you go without asking me. But just... when with friends?... I really prefer darl to ask me permission. It really will make me feel happy with that one question you know? I asked myself why? Why do I need you to ask me permission before you go? Maybe since I can't follow you adventure physically, in a way asking for my permission is equivalent to you inviting me in to your adventure mentally? I honestly feel like, even though you are going to take pictures for me, I might feel sad instead of happy when looking at the pictures. I suppose to be happy to see you adventure, but I sad cause I felt very left out. Can we try that darl? I really want to be the guy that smiles when he sees his lover having fun adventuring. Maybe from there I won't feel very sads and jelly whenever you go out adventuring with your friends. Also, if you ask for my permission, at least... I feel like you do care about how I feel having you in that trip. I don't really know the word to describe that feels.It's just that feels when you care about my feelings in some things. Not only talking about vacation with friends, but others as well... Maybe any outdoor events? I won't say no to whatever you want to attend, unless it requires you to do something obscene or any thing is inappropriate, which I know you won't join. You can ask me in a way like 'Can I go?' or 'Should I go?.' But usually when you asked me 'Should I go', mostly the final decision is whatever the opposite of what I suggest :| So.... I'll stick to 'Can I go?'. Just a question can make me happy me love. Remember that I have learnt to think about how you would feel in the decisions I make? So... don't worry about my answer, I always support the darl. I guess, another request if that's fine? Ask for my permission in trips or outdoor events please? So I can really feel both love and adventure connection between us :)
What a long letter... There are some thing that are still 'bend' from us. For example when you told me that you feel kindda 'don't care' about my problem here? I feel... very... not sad, but sick when I heard you said that. It's really depressing.... I mean... It's like you gave up hope in me. No matter what problems we have.. I won't give up or ignore. I hate that attitude when I start to ignore our problems, thinking that it is a dead end. If there is nothing can be done... I guess it's just left with patience, instead of ignoring or giving it up. I know you have been patient for awhile already. Haih. I'm quite serious about this matter cause this problem can slowly damage our relationship over time.... Right now I just train myself to be more.... calm and positive? Whenever I'm in tight condition, I remember that the lord always push our limits in order for us to learn something or to be even better in it. From there, I can feel better for myself and slowly I can see myself improve. So darl... sorry to make you feel sads because of me some times. Just.... please don't give up hope on me.. I'll try my best even more. I'll push my limits.
Right now darl ish resting. Darl playing ipad and left our whatsapp conversation. I said that I miss you alotttttttttttt.... sooooooo whyyy darlll stilll wannttt tooo leaveee emeeeeee HUHUHUHU. It's a sign that I need you rightt nowwww..... But I guess since you want to study and also you no mood from the haircut that you had.... I guess you do need some time alone for now. Please cheer up okay? It's not that bad. Still love you lots.
Darl. I have been writing for hours now. Imma gonna end this letter. So.... Love you lots :) Happy 4th months anniversary. Yayyyyyyyyy celebrationnnnnn :))))))) Loveeee darl alott. Very ish in love with the darl. Please don't get mad at me for asking many requests... :( It's just how I think can help me feel better, which in the end you'll definitely get less stressful times with me. I really wanna do stuff to the darl badly. Still sexually frustrated cause we didn't get to do it last night.... I actually keep on telling you that I wanna see you is because... I want to do that...the thing we supposed to do last night... But see you no mood and stuff.... Maybe I'll just go watch some vids and do it myself tomorrow.. Or now? Hehehe. Kisu. Love love. See you soon my love~
The Darl Signs here to give love. (´ ,,•ω•,,)っ⌒♡ (´,,•ω•,,)♡The Darl signs here to receive love.
____________________________________ ___________________________________
This letter can be turned into a one time contract of the darl can do anything to the darl for one day if the above is signed by both the darl only.
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