Nothing much.... Just I felt... sad you know that? Like this sadness....I feel like ending everything. Not death. More a like, cut all connection and go to space and explore the interstellar by myself. You read that right.... just... myself.. sorry. I always feel very needy of you, but you hardly are... which makes me an idiot.
Idiotic is me. Long since I was still small till now, never my idiotic self evaporates over time. I guess I never can...
I saw your pictures from photobooth..... saying you are happy with your friends.... and happy with your year... I honestly feel like... sads when I saw that picture... Looking at how different we are. I really don't want to live anymore. Usually when I see your smiling pictures, I'd like it. But this one.... Sorry... I didn't put a like and... I skip that pic without looking close at your face. Your captions is enough to make me go. I really feel jealous. That's why........
You said you are friendly. I'm friendly too, but none cares. Why? When I asked you' Maybe I'm too dumb or something' through whatsapp, you replied 'idk'. 'IDK'? Is that really your answer at this moment? Since we couldn't skype, I actually wanted you to support me, not by facts and tell me you don't know. I just seek attention so I could think straight.... I thought we always do that? When you sad, I always support you even though I didn't know much about the problem, so that you can get mental support from me.... But today you didn't. You gave me facts that doesn't make me feel better. I know the facts and I want to get away from there awhile and get on to a dream where I can just think about you to make me mentally better..... It's useless isn't it? Like you said 4 years, I'll let you do what ever you think is right, hurts me or not, I can't do anything but accept. Right now, I honestly feel like I'm 100% alone. You might think it's okay, but it's not. Means I can't imagine you to sleep right now. If this happens more, who knows I won't be able to imagine you anymore?
Maybe I'm just expecting too much? Who knows? I'm extremely mad with your friends inviting you to cc and makes you fatigue. I don't care right now if they didn't know it could happen, it's their fault. I honestly hate people who makes someone skip class. I'm strict in skipping class. I do not tolerate the people I love skipping class because of something.
Why am I like this? Firstly, I'm jealous till max. Secondly they take you to do something that I can't imagine you doing and lastly, caused you to skip class.
HAIH!
If you read this right now, most probably you'll tell me 'What to do?' I hate that question from you. You tell me that? You know that you hold the pencil to my script of happiness? Are you going to let this go on normally? Or are you gonna change the story a little?
honestly...I;m happy you have friends... I'm just jealous... I'm sorry...I'.m.... really sorry... I really feel like crying right now. Soryrryy you have to date someone like me....
loveyou..
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